Same Sex Attraction
By Michael Shipman
We are currently living in a time when the revolution of the sinful sexual self seems to have peeked in its external expression; in what can be seen, heard, albeit observed. But the various outward expressions that can be observed on social media, television, and our communities are not the inception. All of these declarations of homosexuality, and trans-genderism began where all sin begins, in the heart of fallen, sinful man. Therefore, in one sense, the sinful struggle of same sex attraction (SSA)(1) is identical to every other sinful desire. However, SSA does bring with it unique challenges and considerations.
So, what is “Same Sex Attraction?” It simply is what it is declaring. It is a person who has an internal desire for sexual contact with another person of the same sex. This term is to be seen different from the common cultural terms in the “LGTBQ” acronym mainly because being SSA could possibly mean that the individual has not acted upon the desires, and or, the individual is in some level of opposition to the presence of these desires.
This issue is one that has blown up to significant proportions in the last 15 years. It is an urgent issue that must be biblically investigated not only because our culture has, as a whole, embraced this as a “good” and “acceptable” ethic, but also because the Church is divided severely over the issue. The statistical data on the issue is very difficult to measure; mainly because it is based upon desire and not an open, measurable, observable lifestyle. In 2016, the CDC conducted a National Health Statistics Report of 9,175 adults from the age of 18-44. In this report, it was stated:
Feelings of attraction “only to the opposite sex” were more common for men (92.1%) compared with women (81.0%) aged 18–44. Among those aged 18–44, 92.3% of women and 95.1% of men said they were “heterosexual or straight”; 1.3% of women and 1.9% of men said they were “homosexual, gay, or lesbian”; 5.5% of women and 2.0% of men said they were bisexual; and 0.9% of women and 1.0% of men said “don’t know” or “refused” (i.e., “did not report”) on sexual orientation. Sexual attraction and sexual orientation correlate closely but not completely with reports of sexual behavior. Sexual behavior, sexual attraction, and sexual orientation vary by age, marital or cohabiting status, education, and race and Hispanic origin.(2)
The common factor in the experience of SSA can be considered from the angle of the sexual-identity and the effects it has on him or her. Regarding the sexual identity caused by SSA, some of the most urgent factors are cognitive identity, affectional identity, and volitional identity. These factors result in the person that is experiencing SSA to often struggle with loneliness, acceptance, and belonging. It must be stated from the outset that the current data that is available for analysis is extremely subjective and “super-charged” with social agendas. It does not take much searching to discover that at the crux of the issue, is identity; and this identity is being constructed around sexual proclivities. In other words, an identity that is devoid of Creator / creation distinction is being thrust upon our culture and Churches. There is, in many cases, a quasi-evolutionistic philosophy that is being accepted and propounded. Those that are defenders of the SSA community do not primarily define identity based upon being created in the image of God, but rather, identity is wrapped up in how someone’s sexual desires drive them.(3)
It is important first to address SSA from the cognitive level. How one thinks of themselves is normatively how they perceive their identity. However, there is a significant variable to this truth. The current age in which we live has an overload of information at the fingertips of anyone that is seeking it. It must be noted therefore that the cognitive identity of an SSA person has likely been shaped by particular “authoritative” writings and reports of the current “scientific” and social online community. However, some of these reports can work against such claims as “I was born this way” or the hypothesis that SSA is fixed and identifiable in biological data.(4) Therefore, it must be understood that there are two major shaping factors concerning the cognitive identity of the SSA individual. The first is the informational context. That is to say, the information that is coming to them concerning this issue, and their informed thought process concerning this information. The second is their internal affections. This leads to the second major factor, affectional identity.
The current era in which we live does not value logic as past eras. Our climate esteems emotion to an unprecedented level. “Truth” has now become synonymous with “feelings.” Therefore, however someone feels (regardless of competing and compelling facts), this will be viewed and valued as something that is true and unalterable. It could be said that this is the fruit of the postmodern era where truth was degenerated to the subjective. The irony at this point is that the proponents of the SSA community are reaching for scientific data (objective data) to affirm not only their cognitive identity, but also their affectional identity. Plainly stated, some of the SSA community is seeking to have their desires validated and justified. It would be good to ask why this is happening. Possibly, the best explanation is for the establishment of their volitional identity. In other words, they want their thoughts and affections (desires) validated and justified so that possible future actions may be legitimized. Therefore, volitional identity must be considered also.
An individual’s actions are intimately and inseparably tied to their thoughts and desires. To have acceptable actions in one’s life, the beliefs and desires must be considered good and right, that is…good, and right to self and community. This is where I believe there is a major separation for the SSA community and those that are openly homosexual, and practicing. There is something in their cognitive understanding and their affectional disposition that is keeping them from acting upon their desires. I believe there are various levels in which their conscience has been informed of the negative and destructive realities to these life choices. Hence, why so many are seeking to have their conscience “freed” from any moral or logical “bondage.” This pseudo-freedom is the cause of three major issues within the SSA community: Loneliness, acceptance, and belonging.
It is reported that “Members of the non-heterosexual population are estimated to have about 1.5 times higher risk of experiencing anxiety disorders than members of the heterosexual population, as well as roughly double the risk of depression.”(5) A major factor in these numbers is the overwhelming sense of isolation. This is especially true of the SSA community because many of them are not living in a way that is “loud and proud” about their struggle. But rather, they believe that they have unique differences between themselves and their heterosexual friends and family. This is obviously supported, reinforced, and exacerbated by the erroneous idea that we define identity through and by our sexuality. The SSA community regularly struggles with loneliness because of the lack of acceptance.
For the individual that is SSA within the Church (that are professing that they are Christians), acceptance is a major issue. They have been informed over many years that their sexual sin struggles are the scarlet sin above all other sins. Therefore, they often do not obtain a sense of acceptance within a believing community. This reality has damaging effects on the overall health of an individual. For the individual, and for the local body that may have SSA members, “Union with Christ” is a major doctrine that must be explored, taught, and apprehended by faith in order to construct a loving and shepherding environment, and to progress everyone in their sanctification. It must be clarified that I am not saying acceptance equals approval. The acceptance that I am advocating for is an acceptance that views the individual through the lens of Imago Dei (The Image of God), and not their sexual sin struggle. If this does not happen, there will be less (or no) opportunity for gospel ministry. This feeds into the last issue which is belonging.
Because someone who is SSA does not believe they have a place of belonging, they therefore feel they are not accepted and thus they are lonely or isolated. Belonging is a major theme in their lives that must be fulfilled if we as humans are to thrive. God has created us in such a way that we desire to be in community. SSA individuals generally lack belonging because the current culture seeks to define identity through sexual desires. Therefore, for the SSA individual, building godly community with those that are not in agreement with their inclinations, and obtaining and sustaining a place of belonging is very difficult and extremely awkward.
Of the theological themes mentioned above, this paper will explain how the theological theme of union with Christ addresses certain factors of the experience of SSA. Specifically, Cognitive Identity, Affectional Identity, and Volitional Identity. For the Christian that is struggling with believing the realities of their new identity of Christ, a deep, extended, and thoughtful exploration of their union with Christ is foundational.
The theological doctrine commonly called “Union with Christ” is multifaceted and reaches far and deep into the believer’s life. In many respects, this is the crème de le crème of all other doctrine found in Holy Scripture. Dr. Wayne Grudem defines union with Christ beautifully:
Union with Christ is a phrase used to summarize several different relationships between believers and Christ, through which Christians receive every benefit of salvation. These relationships include the fact that we are in Christ, Christ is in us, we are like Christ, and we are with Christ.(6)
There are two main factors that need to be drawn out of Grudem’s definition. The first is the reality that “every benefit of salvation” is not something that is only available to the Christian, it is something that has been received, given, granted. It is the kaleidoscopic manifold grace “package” that He gives at the moment we are brought into communion through His regenerating work of the Spirit. This is most vividly seen in Ephesians 1:3-10 where Paul is laying before the Ephesian Church all of what God has done and provided in Christ. The first thing to notice is that “every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” has been purchased and given to believers. That is a sweeping and unsearchable statement. It could be said that there is nothing that can be thought of concerning our spiritual wellbeing that is not provided “In Christ.” It is also emphatically important to note that Paul is asserting the believer’s identity as “In Christ.” He is saying that any and all good is only found in Him, and this good has been given to us.
Another foundational aspect that arises from this text is the reality of God’s electing love. The revered theologian John Murray expounds on this theological theme from this text in his seminal work “Redemption Accomplished and Applied” and states:
Union with Christ has its source in the election of God the father before the foundation of the world and has its fruition in the glorification of the sons of God. The perspective of God's people is not narrow; it is broad, and it is long. It is not confined to space and time; it has the expanse of eternity. Its orbit has two foci, one the electing love of God the Father in the counsels of eternity; the other glorification with Christ in the manifestation of His glory. The former has no beginning, the latter has no end... why does the believer entertain the thought of God's determinate counsel with such joy? Why can't he have patience in the perplexities and adversities of the present? Why can he have confident assurance with reference to the future and rejoice in hope of the glory of God? It is because he cannot think of past, present, or future apart from union with Christ.(7)
Murray is telling us that no matter which way the believer turns, it is all of Christ! It's important to notice that our predestination out of verse 4 shows the certainty of our position in Christ: holy and blameless before Him. This is significant because as we struggle with various sins and trials, we need to understand that our identity in Christ is something that is fixed in eternity past. The believer's position Before God and identity is not therefore in flux. Next, we should take notice in verse 5 that this predestination is also a part of God's adopting mission. And this is through Christ, and it is according to the will of God. Verse 6 helps us to see that all of this is for the praise and glory of his grace and for our good. Verse 7 shows us that our identity in Christ has obtained redemption the forgiveness of sins from our trespasses according to the riches of his grace. Verse 8 shows us that he has lavished this upon us using all of God's wisdom and insight to make it a reality. And because we are adopted as sons and daughters and because we have been chosen before the foundation of the world, He has made known to us the mystery of His will as we see in verse 9; and once again this is through Christ. Verse 10 gives us an eschatological hope; That all things will be united in him whether in heaven or on earth. I believe that verse 11 is often overlooked concerning how we should perceive and understand and interpret our struggles and our battle with sin. Paul is essentially saying the same thing here that he says in Romans 8:28. That He is going to work all things according to the counsel of His will. When we consider the context of these verses, He has his glory and His power in mind, and we are the recipients the beneficiaries of this work… and it is glorious.
There are of course some limitations of relevance when we talk about SSA and union with Christ. There must be honesty and humility when these things are considered. For the person who is struggling with SSA they may find no relevance initially when considering union with Christ. I believe the main reason for this is the individual that is suffering from these temptations may have a cognitive knowledge of Christ overall, but in their affectional knowledge of Christ this portion has not come into full bloom. I also believe that it is possible that God has used this difficulty in their life as a type of “thorn in the flesh” to draw them closer to Christ. The difficult relevance in making connections to their struggles is: the reality that they are not seeing, feeling, and experiencing the anticipated fruit bearing that union in Christ promises.
Other limitations to consider could be associated with time and labor for those that are weary and broken down because of their struggle with SSA. What I mean is, coming to an understanding of a person's identity in Christ because of their union with Christ is not something that is easily apprehended or quickly understood. Therefore, the individual that is struggling with SSA will have to be committed (by God’s power and grace) and will have to understand that it may be a very long road for their cognitive, affectional, and volitional identity to begin bearing fruit of transformation because of their union with Christ. It is a bit obvious, but it needs to be stated that there also must be a commitment to the Scriptures as the authoritative word of God in the process of gaining insight and understanding. There must also be a commitment and submission to the Holy Spirit as he reveals God's truth to the heart, the mind, and the will.
However, the good news is there are many points of relevance that intersect when dealing with SSA and union with Christ. This is primarily due to the reality that a person who is suffering under the weight of SSA is dealing with an issue of identity. Therefore, it is the counselor’s responsibility first and foremost to ensure that they have, insofar as they are capable, a confidence in this person’s conversion in Christ. Once this is established then the beauties and the realities and the gravity of union in Christ can be applied ever so slowly, but ever so surely. Consider for a moment the issue of loneliness which is an inevitable experience for those that suffer from SSA. When we zoom out and we consider the beauty of our union with Christ as believers the obvious statement is the one who has Christ has everything and therefore loneliness in the ultimate sense is not a reality. Yes of course we will experience loneliness on a relational level between human beings, but because He indwells us with His Spirit, and we are eternally in communion with Him because of His grace, true and lasting loneliness is not our stature.
Consider the issue of acceptance. As I stated earlier those that suffer from SSA are under a constant weight of not being accepted by various people whether those that are LGBTQ or those within the church. But for the person who is regenerated and in Christ they have the greatest form of acceptance that could ever be desired. I believe this must be a major thrusting point within counseling and discipleship for those that have SSA. They must understand that their identity as it is wrapped up in Christ, is first and foremost being accepted not because of their SSA, but because of Christ’s righteousness and sacrifice. This is where many counselors go wrong, and many parachurch ministries have done much damage to the Church. They have attempted to paint God in a light of acceptance that does not deal with our sin. And this is the challenge of dealing with someone who is struggling with SSA because we must discern overtime whether they agree with their cognitive and affectional sin patterns or if there is a constant fight and battle with these realities.
As stated earlier another major issue in the life of those who are battling SSA is a sense of belonging. A sense of community, a place of vulnerability where they can be open and share with others that love them because of Christ. Dealing with this is a little bit trickier than the other two because it would also require those in that community to have a biblical disposition toward the one who is struggling with this sin. However, as we consider our union with Christ we must with all love and gentleness and patience and even excitement explain to them that they ultimately belong with Christ in His Kingdom in eternity. The difficult aspect is dealing with the manifestations of loneliness and acceptance and belonging on the earthly plane. This is why I believe it is important that the individuals that are under the weight of SSA must constantly meditate and wash their hearts and their minds in the realities of their union with Christ, and I am confident if they do this even though they may still always have this inclination in their heart or in their mind, there will be a peace there will be a joy and there will be a serenity in their life because they know what their true and lasting position actually is.
It also should be noted that we must be candid and honest with our counselees concerning this difficulty and explain to them that God may never remove these thoughts and these emotions and the desires this side of Heaven. But they can have confidence that they have union with Christ, and they have a future and a certainty if there is a resistance and a hatred for its presence. In one regard, this is the line of demarcation for every believer, not just those that are suffering from SSA. If anyone claims to be in Christ and he is not a new creation (meaning their disposition toward sin - meaning whether or not they hate it, resist it, and fight it) then they are no new creation at all. But for the one that has a constant sin struggle at the cognitive and affectional level, and they are “in the fight” so to speak, then they should be the ones displaying the most joy and the most hope. Spiritual battle is an indication of life. Spiritual apathy is an indication of death.
The beauty of this doctrine, union with Christ, is that it really is a doctrine of perception based upon an internal reality. It is beautiful because it helps us realign our hearts and our minds to what the true reality is for the believer. In applying this doctrine to those that are under the weight of SSA the first thing that must be established is that every spiritual blessing we have is in Christ and this comes from Ephesians 1:3. I want them to see and believe first and foremost that their identity and happiness is not wrapped up in their sexuality. It is important to note that God never emphasizes the believer's identity based upon their sexuality in the way the world does; yes, He does do this negatively (promising judgment) for those that are practicing (internally or externally) homosexuality. I would want to spend a considerable amount of time discussing their adoption as sons and daughters into God's family because of the person and work of Jesus. This could possibly be the hinge pin portion of our counseling because it does answer the question and the problems of loneliness, acceptance and belonging. When we come to the realization that we are in Christ because of Christ as a result of the will of the Father and through the working of the Holy Spirit and this is called by God himself an adoption, there is never a sense in our life in which we should ever feel ultimately lonely lacking acceptance or lacking belonging. These truths have to be conveyed patiently prayed over and expounded to the counselee, but it is ultimately and only through God the Holy Spirit in which it will be applied to the counselee.
Along with Ephesians chapter one, I would also use Romans 7:7-25; Paul's difficulty with his own sin. At this point what I would want to show them is that this Paul who wrote the book of Romans and knew better than most of us what it was to be in union with Christ, he still had great difficulty with his sin nature, and he was honest and candid about it. I would also point out that, that struggle did not diminish or disqualify him from being a Christian. But rather it actually validated and proved the work of God in him. This is a critical aspect in counseling someone who is dealing with a besetting sin or an issue of identity they must understand that there are characters in scripture who they themselves have affirmed and lived faithful lives because of Christ had great difficulty and struggles with the clinging dead nature of Adam.
Finally, I would want to continually pump them up with hope from Philippians 1:6! Explaining to this individual that He who began a good work in you will certainly, absolutely, and emphatically complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. And this work does not necessarily promise that we will not have struggles on this side of Heaven, but it does mean that we will be conformed to Christ’s image ever so surely, and certainly at times ever so slowly, but we will surely be with Him.
Bibliography
Grudem, Wayne. 2000. Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
Murray, John. 2017. Redemption Accomplished and Applied . Edinburgh: The Banner of Truth Trust.
Pierre, Jeremy. 2016. The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life: Connecting Christ to Human Experience. Greensboro: New Growth Press.